Hasselhoff rocks

Okryan has updated the lamest blog. He has one of the funniest things ever commited to film. I can't decide if my favorite part is the motorcycle seat stand to superman to flying sequence or the fur clad Hoff on the sled catching the fish and then eating it. Check it out and try to decide for yourself. And what's with the weiner dog? The only way it could be any funnier is if Gary Coleman made a cameo.

Jordans

Scot from www.losergoes1st.com called my attention to this deal that sold out ridiculously quick even with the suggested retail price of $300. I saw a could of these packages(you get two pairs) on eBay for close to $600. I also saw a pair of Jordan IVs with the laser etching for less that a hundred with only 23 minutes remaining. Nike needs to get those child laborers to stop taking lunch breaks so they can bring down the price of their shoes.
I found a couple of new shoe sites that I will add to the sidebar soon. I am a shoe whore. If only i had money to support my habit.

Excuses

This was sent to me from another teacher and had me rolling. I wonder if this is funny to any nonteachers out there?

You have heard of the "no child left behind" initiative . . . w-e-l-l . . . below is probably why!!
These are suppose to be REAL notes written by PARENTS in a Tennessee school district.
Spellings have been left intact. Most of them are funny, some sad . . .

1-- MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.
2-- PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT
3-- DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33.
4-- PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.
5-- PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.
6-- JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.
7-- CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL.
HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.
8-- MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.
9-- CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.
10-- PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL. HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.
11-- PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SH**S. NOTE: [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE
CROSSED OUT. (Love it!)
12-- PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.
13-- IRVING WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.
14-- PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT.
{You know, this could be legit!}
15-- I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR.
16-- PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY.
WE THOUGHT IT WAS
SUNDAY.
17-- MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE
SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES. {I absolutely LOVE that one!}
18-- PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.
19-- PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.
20-- GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER.
21-- PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.
22-- MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER,
SORETHROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER
AN SORE THROAT, HER
BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.
NOW WE KNOW WHY PARENTS ARE SCREAMING FOR BETTER EDUCATION FOR OUR KIDS.

Brando?

Yes, that is Marlon Brando. Prepare to be disturbed. NSFW

Right on

That explains a lot.

Arcade fire rulz

I found a bunch of new live songs by The Arcade Fire this weekend. I can't remember where I got them but they promise good things for the next album. I think that is probably the most anticipated album of the year in my book.

Summer league

I'm afraid that if we move I won't be able to play in the summer league. I'll miss the scoregasms. I'm sure there are other things I should be worrying about but that's where my thoughts are this evening. Of coarse we could end up living near an MLS team, then I could just get fatter and go to games just to watch. Or maybe I could fulfill my life long dream of becoming a soccer hooligan.

The strokes

Whoa, Look at this, The Strokes at the Cain's March 11th! I need another job to pay for all the great shows coming through here in the next few months.

Prepare to rock

If Okryan were in a band it would be this one, the fury, the flying hair the leather wristband... rock.
If he knew who they were they would be his favorite band. There are just too many things right with this picture.

Rachel Hunter

Can you spot what's wrong with this picture?

Long Live the Empire

I have decided to join the dark side.

A concert plan

Wouldn't it be cool if we could get everyone together for this show? I think everyone would enjoy this quirky Okie Pop. G! has expressed intrest, she could bring Panther and we could drag em and Dave to the show. Sarah and Eric are troopers and maybe lisa and Brent will come and my man PG and Grant will represent the hippie scene. BJ could bring the cute asian(Natalie?) and a thirst for beer. Who have i forgotten?

Maybe Steve Burns or Wayne will show up?
El Paso Hot Button is really coool as long as okryan doesn't take his picture!

Once more for old times sake?

Check out the upcoming concerts in the sidebar... What do you think, should we see 311 at the Cain's in a desperate bid to reclaim our youth? I'm leaning towards yes. I guess i should check out the new album.
The Eisley show is on Cain's second stage. We caught part of their set at ACL and they were pretty good.

G Love at the Cain's Ballroom

I think this picture tells us three things. 1. Sarah is a very pretty girl. 2. She likes G Love 3. Okryan shouldn't be trusted with the camera(the goddamn strap, rookie mistake, he was hardly drunk)
Photographic evidence that okryan wears his wedding ring in public(don't tell em that after this picture he took it off and then we banged hookers and smoked Cuban cigars while doing blow off said hooker's asses).
G Love wails while someone throws the devil horns. All Hail Satan!
G Love and the special sauce were back in action at the Cain's ballroom on Sunday. It looked like we weren't going to make it for a few moments due to money problems but good friends came through and okryan, PG and Grant all made it into the show. Inside we met up with Sarah and Eric who were enjoying the unremarkable Eric Hutchinson. G Love came out and played all of the hits including; Baby's Got Sauce, Cold Beverage and Booty Call. The infamous booty call panties were no longer for sale so G! lucked out. Her ass would have looked magnificent in them.
I was really impressed with how smooth and funky he was at the same time. He really laid back and jammed out a lot of the songs. He had a full on band this year with two drummers. His guitar playing was awesome and his rap singy blues thing really worked. I can't forget to mention his harmonica work, exceptional. His music really appeals to a lot of different tastes. The crowd was a pretty mixed bag. They couldn't have been more into it. I wish I could have captured some of the crazy white people dancing that went down, it was a sight to behold. He came out for the encore and played an acoustic version of blackbird. I won't mention the drunk lady that grant got to second base with or the assholes that thought they were at a bar and commenced to talk loudly throughout the entire show because those are little things next to such great music. We tried to get some video with the new camera but the audio didn't work.
The style of G Love makes me wonder why the Hosty Duo aren't more popular, they are doing the same kinda thing with just a little less funk and a bit more country.

Supergirl uncovered

Dia, after quite a bit of "research" I'd have to say that it is in fact supergirl. Here is my proof. In the above picture we have Supergirl after losing half of her shirt in a battle with some villain. I guess she didn't have a blanket from krypton to make her costume.
Here she is in her short sleeve summer costume.
I believe this picture is from that lost Mardi Gras weekend.
Here she is in the 1950s, I'm not sure why her breasts are shaped like that.
I also discovered that the carpet matches the drapes, I'm sure you were wondering.

Mates of State

The new Mates of State album has leaked and it is a tasty treat. We should go out and buy it when it comes out next month. I think I remember one of these songs from the set they did at ACL. Like I posted back then, they put on a great show. They even made our hippy like them.

FootBALL

I think I've just come up with a way to convince Dave to play soccer.
In other news my dad is flying to texas to buy a corvette.

Okryan's match

I used one of okryan's pictures on the myheritage site and it gave me this guy. I can see the resemblance.

Zidane

Here is the reason g! is #10 on the scoregasms. There are several great videos of him doing amazing things on google video including a pick up game he plays with some guys where he obviously dominates. Kind of like Michael Jordan showing up at the court for a pick up game.

lest we forget

The Arcade Fire rules on high.

i couldn't help myself

The Hosty Duo

last night was the official celebration of Dr.B wigga's birthday. The infamous Hosty Duo was playing at McNellies and that is where the festivities took place.
The Hosty Duo was awesome. They really can get down. I've been hearing about them for years from Brent and Lisa but this was my first time to see them, good stuff. The highlights were the Corndog song and the Dishwasher song.
Brent can carry and consume many beverages. He can also dance but we never got to see the sweet cowboy hat. Happy birthday.
The upstairs room was loud and rocking so I didn't actually hear what these kids were talking about but I'll bet it was a.) "It's not a dog its a polar bear, they are very similar. If you had my depth perception you would see it." b.) "have you seen the lesbians in Colorado.. " c.) "girlfriend, he aint gettin any of this until he puts on that ring."

The J5's were at the party posted up on the table enjoying bluish rock and a fancy beer. The photographer was very drunk.
Things not pictured or discussed from last night.
1. The drunk scarf wearing dancer.
2. Okryan getting stuck under the table and then kicked... Repeatedly.
3. Some asshole spilling beer on me...ryan!
4. How much did we actually drink.
5. That girl in the black shirt.
6. The ride home.
7. The follow-up shit.

Ron Jeremy chooses a career

Ron Jeremy decided to grow a mustache and get into porn after seeing Chuck Norris beat a woman to death with his penis.

The National

I listened to a couple of songs from The National a while ago when everyone was blogging about their tour troubles with Clap Your Hands but I really didn't like what I heard. Yesterday I just happened to have a copy of their disc Alligator and so I put it on while I was grading papers and loved it. Maybe it's the mood I'm in but there are several standout tracks on this disc. I regret not giving it a closer listen sooner. Anyway I'd like to highly recommend this album to those of you that are open to new sounds that are slightly depressed and at times a bit angry. I'll try to put up some mp3's later.

Fighting the urge

I am seriously fighting the urge to post on my main man Chuck Norris.

Belle & Sebastian will be in Dallas Texas on the fourteenth of March at the Granada. I am almost certain that there is no way we can afford this concert, if there were a god g! and I would both be there on the front row. The Granada is a great small venue were you can see the band no matter where you are. I've seen Ryan Adams and Ben Harper there and had a great experience each time. I will now beseech Chuck Norris for help in getting my lovely wife and I to the show. Maybe I could get another job!

New York City Marathon

In 1979 Chuck Norris became the first black man to win the New York City Marathon.

Open season

Chuck Norris does not go hunting because that would infer the possibilty of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Who does that?

Sorry i couldn't resize this picture. All i really wanted to say is that i would never react like that.

I'm not that hungry

All i know about this picture is that it is from an upcoming film with Labrinth in the title and the director of Hellboy has something to do with it.

PG bought a sweeeeet '97 full size dodge van. It has a tape deck. His house has at least one fancy faucet.

The second

School starts up again tomorrow. I know what I'm doing the first two hours but after that... most of my morning was wasted in a meeting on curriculum alignment. The highlight was a middle school teacher who went on a tirade about Jane Schafer and how her system sucks since her daughter couldn't write essays in college. I wanted to ask her if the problem was that her daughter was a shitty writer but I just kept playing solitaire on my palm.
Things have been busy with all of the jobs and everything. I did watch 40 year old virgin last night, it really deserves its own post.
Sally got us awesome gift certificates to Hastings and yet we can't afford the gas to get there, I think there may be some irony in the situation. Well it's time for a haircut.

Total Gym

Chuck Norris had sex with Christy Brinkley and then roundhouse kicked her in the stomach, as a result she gave birth to a total gym.