Sunday, February 26, 2006

Where was bj?

The wedding was a great event. As the pictures attest, there was both free beer and pretty ladies. As usual we were late, we actually entered after the groomsmen but before the attendants. I was shocked to see that my man bj was sans suit so I was left wondering why the hell I had drug out mine. After a fairly short and preachy wedding we headed to Freddies Steak house for the reception. BJ was nowhere to be found. We set with the brides mother(who wasn't in the best of humors) and a couple who's daughter had just made a D in my class and a guy with a super mullet(in a ponytail since it was a formal event). With bj nowhere in site I began drinking as quickly as possible assuming that he had gone out and bought a new adidas track suit with "Boo jigga" embroidered on the back for our upcoming break dance routine. I must mention that although bj had not shown up in person he was already there in spirit. Wedding goers were treated to a powerpoint slide show of the new couple in which bj showed up several times, my favorites being the sweet snow/flight suit, the awesome christmas sweater and best of all the formal family portrait in which bj sported an infant mullet. After trying repeatedly to take a picture of the pictures of bj in the slide show i had to admit defeat so you're left to picture it in your mind. After a few beers I became worried so I accosted Bill(the brides father) and learned that the couple were going to Hawaii for 9 days and bj was sick. I immediately took the above photograph in order to show bj all the free beer he had missed. I then ate an ungodly amount of meat.

BJ look at the free beer! My god the free beer. Lezlee's husband kept bringing them to me. I DIDN"T EVEN HAVE TO GET UP FOR THE FREE BEER. I'm sorry i shouted but my god man free beer. I shed a tear for your loss. Get well soon.

p.s. Natalie looked very nice i hope the camera project is commencing.


lua said...

don't worry, i'll cover the mullet on my blog (i took some nice shots)... and the ice sculpture of what? i am not sure- oh and all of the fur coats. NOT VEGAN, i 'am pretty sure. i ate lots of tabouli, though. good times.

SpanksVosse said...

I like the guy behind Gretchen...he looks real upset by something. Hmmmm....what could he be thinkin. Where's my dinner? Who's that fine piece of ass? My wife is drunk and I gotta get her outta here quick before she falls into the cake and makes a fool outta me.

B.J. said...

Yup, I was sick. You saw me walk down the aisle under sheer willpower. You know it would take something serious to keep me from the free booze.

I was hot blooded, I checked it to see.
I had a fever of 103.

The family portrait with the mullet? If you are talking about the one I think you are I was in transition between barbers and the one I went to the day before that pic sucked ass and I never went back.

The Christams sweater was stylin' and that pic was taken by the video games at Warehouse Market.

I agree, the snowsuit was bitchin'. I wish I could find one like it in my size now.

I really tried to make it to the reception, but realized as we were taking the photos after the ceremony that as soon as I stepped into the air infused with ginger, country music, and various roasting meats I would lose it. Plus it was taking all I had to offer a sickly smile and a nod to every other person who came by and asked me when they would be coming to my wedding. If I would have felt better I would have told them something like "According to Natalie's culture, to be wed we circle a table hand in hand 3 times, hop over a fire, and then pierce our genitals. Then and only then are we wed. We're doing it next weekend, would you like to RSVP now?"

btw... Suits are overrated at weddings. I haven't worn one to the last two weddings I've been to and I've loved every minute of it. Why wear a coat to a place you know is going to be like a thousand degrees inside? I've never understood it.

lua said...

wow, it's like you know that guy. he was watching the slide show. and yes, his wife was getting drunk quick, but i will stop there, as his wife is the mother of the bride. (and bj, she was very nice to me)

Oil Money is Clean Money said...

That guy is my long lost twin who was kidnapped
by a gang of cowboys wearing pressed jeans and
smuggled into Oklahoma.
- Wm. F. Buckley, Jr.

lua said...

my bro in law wears pressed wranglers